Hello Again World

It's been a while since my last post (I've been trying to get my college degree and all) but now I've graduated and have nothing to do for an entire summer. And it only took me 2 weeks of going to the library and reading Arsenal news nonstop on the internet before I realized what a fantastic opportunity I had to get this blog actually going.

You see, when I first made this blog, I was excited and unrealistic about it. I asked my favorite Arsenal blogger (go check Arseblog out if you haven't found it already) and this was his advice

In terms of advice all I can say is just post regularly and try and be a bit different to the rest. There are lots of blogs out there now, most of them are all the fucking same though.

And so the nice thing is that my blog isn't the fucking same as he might say, but the whole posting regularly thing just didn't happen. So now it's going to. I swear.

Anyhow, since I've spent half this blog talking about Arseblogger already, I might as well just turn this first post into my dedication piece in hopes that I can become more like him in terms of posting.

First off, congratulations on the move to OleOle.com! This guy is so good he's a full time blogger guys! Again, another shameless plug to go check out his website Here is a perfect example of why I love this guy's writing.

Arsenal and United both wanted Charlie Nicholas. Charlie joined the Arsenal, therefore he's not a cunt. On the other hand Cristiano Ronaldo joined United and I hardly need to tell you how much of a cunt he is.

How could someone disagree with that statement? Anyone who thinks CR is a cunt is a friend of mine!

So ta my readers (doubt there are any) until tomorrow!


*Note: This blog is in no way associated with Arseblog except that the author is a very dedicated reader and occasional corresponder with said blogger.*

The Late, Late Show with William Gallas. Guest starring Mr. Linesman

Dear Mr. Linesman,

You've never met me, but I would like to marry you. We need more fellows like you with sharp eyes. I know it must have been a difficult job (if mine was to watch the likes to O'Shea, Brown, or Ferdinand I'm pretty sure I would cry myself to sleep at night) but we appreciate you. So I salute you Mr. Linesman-who-made-an-amazing-call-in-the-final-minute.


Dear William Gallas,

You fucked up by deflecting that goal. However then you scored a goal. I know that playing for Chelsea probably means you were taught to be a cunt... so keep fighting against it and work on just scoring goals and not on deflecting them into our own goal. That said, you deserve to have supermodels throw themselves at you. You are a beautiful man.

Most Sincerely,
The Lady Gooner

Guiness Book Record Holders and no match?!

Dear Fox Soccer Channel,

Just so you realize, you are pretty much my one shot a week to watch an Arsenal game. I have to live without watching Carling Cup and UEFA Cup matches as it is, so do yourself a favor and broadcast our Premiership fixtures. We have the world record for number of fans, so don't give me the whole "viewers aren't interested" bullshit. Seriously, in what world will more people watch a Portsmouth v. Reading game than Arsenal v. West Ham? I've never even met a Reading fan in the States! That's all.

The Lady Gooner

Wallbanger pt. 2

The second worst place for my Wallbanger is probably on my front door. Now when a fellow picks me up for a date there is no hiding my obsession.


This does however solve the problem of weeding out any secret Chelsea, Man U, or god forbid Sp*rs fans from my suitors.

Field Identifications

Dear FSC Commentators,

Last year I became concerned with the eyesight of certain referees during a certain Carling Cup final send off. However, it has recently come to my attention that perhaps I should be more concerned about your eyesight. When it becomes difficult to tell Sagna from Hleb, it is time to visit the optometrist. That's all.

The Lady Gooner

Good day for Gunners and Djourou

An important match for the Gunners this week. Even though Derby is bottom of the table, the fact that we won this match cannot be overlooked. Last season many of our points were conceded against teams just like Derby. Losing to Sheffield United or West Ham really took the mickey out of beating Manchester United twice. Anyhow, it was a strong game for many of our players. I kept the recording as a testament to why I love Arsenal. We have the strongest passing game in the Premiership, and possibly in Europe. Commentators keep comparing us to the Dutch total football of days past, and I think it is warranted. Beautiful game boys, keep it up.

Looking at another game, Birmingham managed to keep a clean sheet at Anfield this week. Why would any Arsenal fan give a damn you ask? Mostly because the credit can be given to a certain Arsenal player on loan to Birmingham, Johan Djourou. At the beginning of the season, many fans reckoned our team looked a bit thin and were a bit perplexed when Wegner sent the boy to play some first team soccer for the Blues. Watching highlights of him against Liverpool, it seems that it has done him a world of good. Once again, Wegner knows best.

I'm off to entertain my parents. I had to fake an illness this morning to skip breakfast so I could catch the match. Does this make me a bad daughter? No, just a ridiculous Arsenal fan. Cheers.

Wallbangers

It's possible that the best place for my Cesc Fabregas wallbanger is not next to my bed. If a fellow ever stays over it might be strange for him to wake up next to a giant mural of any Arsenal player. The club crest stays.